Jane's Media Reel
Listen to Jane on the Ask Jane Radio Show on S.F.'s 960AM
Jane Straus: Segment and Article Ideas for the Media
- Building A Spiritual Relationship Brick By Brick
- It’s All Done With Mirrors: What The Problems In Your Relationship Say About
- An Affair To Reveal: Why And When You Should Tell
- When To Hold ’em, When To Fold ’em: Letting Go Of Destructive Relationships
- Truth Or Consequences: The Real Toll Secrets And Lies Take
- 4 Steps to True Forgiveness
- Smoldering Resentments: How To Put Out The Fire Once And For All
- Recipe For An Extraordinary Life: Say “Boo!” To Your Fears
- Question Authority: Don’t Let Limiting Beliefs Run You
- Overcoming Procrastination: A 5-Step Plan You Can't Do Later
- Why Creating Problems For Yourself Was The Best Thing You Ever Did
- Trusting Trust: Believing Is Seeing!
- Ready To Change: 5 Ways To Craft And Keep The New You
- Midlife Changes: 7 Ways To Turn A Potential Crisis Into An Extraordinary
- It's A Bitch Being Conscious: Why You Long For Sweet, Sweet Denial
- You, Me And Hypocrisy: Walking The Talk
- What Is A Life Coach And Why Do You Need One?
- Show Me More Than The Money: How Abundance Beats Wealth
- The Hidden Costs Of Giving Up: Giving Up Is Not The Same As Letting Go
- Rekindle Your Passion For Your Work And Your Life
- Don’t Endure, Persevere!
- The Ultimate Workout: How To Strengthen Your Self Esteem
- Sticks And Stones: Overcoming Your Fear Of Rejection
- Woe Is Me: How To Stop Feeling Victimized And Plug Into Personal Power!
- And the Oscar Goes To…: It’s Time To Shine As The Star You Are
- Saving The Best For Last: Why Putting Everyone Else First Backfires
The Ultimate Life Questions:
- Your Life Purpose: Guidelines For Finding Fulfillment
- Happiness: Is It Genetic, Is It Dumb Luck, Is It Possible?
- Heed The Buddha: Becoming An Inspiration To Others
- Who’s The Grownup Here?: Becoming Your Child’s Parent, Not Your Parents’
- 7 Steps To Raising Extraordinary Children: Hint—Buy Stock In Refrigerator
- Take A Chill Pill: How To Stop Overreacting To Your Children
Holiday / Seasonal Topics:
- Love Outside The Chocolate Box On Valentine’s Day
- How To Guard Against A Valentine’s Day Disaster!
- How To Be Single And Happy On Valentine’s Day
- 10 Ways To Actually Enjoy The Holiday Season (Yes, With Others)
- 5 Ways To Make Your New Year’s Resolutions Stick
- Mother’s Day: Bringing It Home and Frying It Up: What To Do For the Mom
Who Does It All
- Mother’s Day: Wannabe Moms: How to Celebrate When You're Longing for a
- Fathers Day: You da Man!: What Makes A Dad Great In The Eyes of Mom and
- “Groundhog Day”: How to Stop Reliving The Same Day Over And Over
TEN KEYS TO CREATING YOUR EXTRAORDINARY LIFE
STEP 1: Recognize that you are enduring.
Do you feel that you never have time to stop? Do you distract yourself with eating,
working, volunteering, cleaning, etc.? Do you resent that you never have time to do the
things your spirit longs for? Do you feel resigned rather than inspired? If you wake up most
mornings feeling anxious, bored, or numb, looking forward to some imagined future time
when you will feel happier - "when my children finally start school," "when my bills are paid
off," "when I retire"-then you are enduring.
STEP 2: Release your self-judgments.
Your negative beliefs about yourself that are holding you back-you're untalented,
too fat, not smart enough, etc.- are probably rooted in your childhood. Why would you let
your "inner seven-year-old" run your life? These judgments are real but they are only as true
as you have believed them to be. Give yourself compassion for having carried the burden
of your self-judgments. Replace them with affirmations and find new evidence to support
your willingness to believe in them. Affirmations are as true as you allow them to be.
STEP 3: Question your limiting beliefs.
When you tenaciously hold on to the belief that the world works in one particular
way (against you), or that there is only one right way to do something (and you are doing it
wrong), or that your actions will inevitably result in a specific and predictable outcome
(bad), you are strapping on blinders. Make a commitment to take off those blinders. It will
take practice and patience to stay out of "limiting belief territory," but eventually it will
become second nature. You'll quickly start to see that life no longer feels boring and
STEP 4: Drop your acts.
When you put on the armor of an act, you sacrifice your authenticity for protection.
For instance, you think no one can hurt you if you’re tough enough…or that everyone will
love you if you’re nice enough…or that everyone will respect you if you never admit to
being wrong. Your acts will become your prison. Instead, give yourself joyful permission to
become more of who you really are. You will feel free and you will find that who you are is
much more interesting than any character you could possibly play.
STEP 5: Face down your fear.
What fear is keeping you from living your extraordinary life? Whatever it is—quitting your unfulfilling job, leaving an abusive marriage, telling the truth about your past—you must face it head on. Recognize that F.E.A.R. means “False Evidence Appearing
Real.” Think of the worst-case scenario and see yourself living through it with dignity. Get
support from others. Create an affirmation, such as, “I am now courageous.” Then, just do
it. Remember that no matter what the momentary outcome of facing down your fear
brings, your worth as a person is constant and never in question.
STEP 6: Free your feelings.
If you feel bored, you are probably ignoring or avoiding something. Make an effort
to connect with your feelings. Sit in a quiet place and close your eyes. Take some deep
breaths. Check in with your body. Do you feel any tightness or pain? Give that pain or
tightness a name, such as fear, hurt, anger, resentment, sadness. If your body feels light and
open, give that an emotional name such as joy, love, happiness. Whatever emotions you
feel and name, just allow them to be. If they change, let that be. Let yourself be. Learn to
honor your emotions. Give them an opportunity to inspire you.
STEP 7: Heal your anger and resentment.
When you can acknowledge that your resentments are fueled by your personal
regrets, you free yourself to step out of the victim role. It is not that you are letting others
off the hook for unkind or unfair behaviors; they are still responsible for their intentions
and actions. But the moment you uncover your regrets, you are empowered to let go of
STEP 8: Forgive yourself.
Make a list of the wrongs you have done to others and to yourself. See them as
results of survival strategies. Acknowledge the consequences of these strategies to yourself
and others. Grieve for your losses and your mistakes. Make amends with yourself and
others. Create an affirmation to replace the self-judgments that drove you to using your
survival strategies. And remember to treat yourself the way you would want others to treat
STEP 9: Know, speak, and live your truth.
Commit to being truthful in all you say and do. Realize that being truthful is not
synonymous with being honest. Truth is a complex blend of honesty mixed with
compassion and vulnerability. When you are “brutally honest,” you are expressing your
judgment but not expressing your truth. Your spirit knows the difference between truth and
honesty. When you express your highest thoughts and intentions, you are able to live a true
life, not just an honest one.
STEP 10: Create your extraordinary life every day.
To live in your truth is to allow your spirit’s energy into every cell of your being and
into every thought and action. Here’s what this means in everyday terms: When you tell the
clerk at the grocery store checkout counter that she has given you too much change, you
make truth and spirit matter more than money. When you hear gossip and don’t pass it
along, you make truth and spirit matter more than your momentary desire to feel
important. When you tell someone you love him or her, unsure of whether he or she will
say it in return, you make truth and spirit matter more than your fear of rejection. Make
these decisions every day. It takes courage and commitment to be your extraordinary self.
You will be amply rewarded with a rich and fulfilling life.
Relationship expert, author, radio host, and media guest, Jane Straus gives individuals, couples, and organizations the tools to thrive and experience the extraordinary in life. Visit her media page to view her clips from shows on ABC, CBS, and NBC; peruse her articles in USA Today, CNN.com, Woman's World Magazine, and other print publications; and read her newsletters and excerpts from her popular self-help book, Enough Is Enough! Stop Enduring and Start Living Your Extraordinary Life.
Jane’s Longer Bio
For over twenty years, I have been working with individuals, couples, and families who
want to live their most extraordinary lives. This gratifying work has taken me beyond my
office doors and into the media, including countless radio shows, TV, newspapers, and
national magazines. Doesn’t this sound like an extraordinary life?
It is now, but it wasn’t always entirely so. In January of 2003, I was diagnosed with a brain
tumor, which served as the ultimate wake-up call. In the ensuing shock, I had to ask myself
the same question that I asked all my clients: Is there anything I have been too afraid to do
in my life? Any regrets? When I answered truthfully, I had to say yes. Out of fear of
rejection and failure, I had avoided taking one particular risk: writing an inspirational self-help
Like many of us, I had let my excuses dampen my spirit’s longings. After all, I had already
written a bestseller, The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation (grammarbook.com).
But resting on my laurels was not being true to myself. So I made a pact with my spirit: if I
made it through the surgery and were given a second chance, I would stop listening to my
fears and excuses and begin writing. Thankfully, the brain tumor was successfully removed.
Now I had to harness my reserves and persevere.
After two years, my life’s work found its place on the page and Enough Is Enough! Stop
Enduring and Start Living Your Extraordinary Life was published. Just like you, I still have
dreams. With the unwavering support of my wonderful husband and amazing daughter, I
am writing a novel and producing a screenplay as I also continue as a life coach and media
Enough is enough! Isn’t that what you want to shout sometimes? Enough with boredom,
ruts, checking off endless items on your to-do list, carrying shame, holding secrets, and
feeling unworthy. To thrive in our extraordinary lives requires more than courage; it
requires knowing, speaking, and honoring our deepest truths. Here’s to listening to the
whisper of your spirit and the wisdom of your heart. By doing so, you will turn your
thoughts into intentions, your intentions into actions, and your actions into extraordinary